As I type I am sitting in the International Terminal at LAX. In one hour we will board a plane that will take us to China, then into Cambodia, and ultimately into Vietnam. It is completely surreal to think this day is here.
Things are still up in the air with Rob’s visa. We have two different well-connected people who are working to help us get Rob a visa. If it turns out he ultimately cannot get a visa, the plan is for him to remain in Cambodia while Nathan and I travel into Vietnam and complete the adoption. Once the adoption is complete, Rob will head for home while Nathan and I get Kim a passport and a visa so we can return to the States. I am entirely at peace with the idea of traveling into Vietnam without Rob. Do I like the idea? Heavens, no! But I have accepted it and am okay completing Kim’s adoption on my own.
What causes me intense stress is the idea that our adoption could be cancelled. Our adoption agency’s in-country employee is VERY worried if we push immigration too hard they will begin looking into the adoption and potentially cancel it entirely. Our other allies who are assisting Rob in his quest to get a visa do not share this concern. But, oh how it gets my mama heart racing to think there’s even a small chance we might not be able to bring Kim home.
The thing that sustains me is an abiding belief God is at the helm. I’ve said it before, but Kim is His daughter and He has a plan for her. For now, we are putting our trust in those who are advocating for Rob, and more than that we are putting our trust in God to guide them, and to soften any hearts that may need softened.
Anyone who knows me well knows I tend to function from a place of pretty high anxiety. I have worked very hard to learn coping skills and feel I have made extraordinary progress. The true miracle is, through all of this emotional turmoil I have had peace. My worries are present, but they do not dominate me. I have truly been blessed by the faith and prayers of so many of you.
I have been thinking a lot about a scripture in the Book of Mormon found in Mosiah 24:14-15, it reads:
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
That promise has been made very real in our life. In spite of all the ups and downs, we have been mostly cheerful. Sometimes I have to take a lot of deep breaths before the cheerfulness returns, but overall we have truly been strengthened.
Now that we have all that serious stuff out of the way, I must say it is an absolute blast flying with Nathan. He hasn’t been on airplane since he was 3 years old, so everything is new and exciting.
We’ll be off the grid for the next 14.5 hours, next time I write I’ll be in ASIA! I want all my little loves at home to know they are in my heart every moment! I can’t wait to Facetime from Cambodia!